


Patterns of Behaviour, Discussion of Bisexuality, and Unconditional Love

by Diary



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Background Relationships, Bechdel Test Fail, Bisexual Robert Sugden, Bottle Episode Fic, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Conversations, Established Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Established Relationship, Family, Honesty, Love, Male Friendship, Minor Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden, Multi, Paddy Kirk is Aaron Dingle's Dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-12
Updated: 2016-12-12
Packaged: 2018-09-08 07:21:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8835454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Diary/pseuds/Diary
Summary: Aaron and Paddy discuss Aaron's engagement. Complete.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own Emmerdale.

Opening the door, Paddy smiles brightly. “Aaron!”

Aaron sighs. Playing with his ring, he says, “Paddy, I know you don’t agree with me being engaged, but- I need someone to talk to. So, I dunno, can you just talk to me without going off on Robert?”

Nodding, Paddy steps aside. “I’ll try my best. Do you want a brew?”

Once, they’ve sat down, Paddy says, “I’m not having a go, I’m just asking: Has something happened?”

“He loves me, Paddy, and I love him. Isn’t that what you’ve always wanted for me? You said it was, once.”

Reaching over, Paddy wraps an arm around him. “Of course, that’s what I’ve always wanted for you, Aaron. I always will.” Sighing, he squeezes Aaron’s shoulder before moving his arm back. “The fact there’s no blood between us doesn’t matter. I’ve loved you since you were seventeen.”

He chuckles. “To be honest, I don’t know when you went from this kid I tolerated for Chas’s sake to one of the most important people in my life, but you did. No matter what you do, I’ll never stop. And I don’t necessarily mean you doing something bad, because, there’s nothing wrong with marrying someone you love. Even when I don’t agree with your choices, I’ll still always try to be there for you.”

“There’s nothing wrong with marrying someone I love, but it’s a choice you don’t agree with,” Aaron scoffs.

“Liv is your blood, Aaron. Now, I’m never going to try to kill Robert or beat him up or anything like that. But, and again, this isn’t me having a go, you’ve gone after people who didn’t really deserve it in the past.” Rubbing his upper shoulder, he says, “Never mind someone shooting you or trying to suffocate you, you walk into a room, your little sister is bleeding and tied to a radiator, and the person who did that is also pointing a gun at her.”

Reaching over, he gently unclenches Aaron’s fists and soothes at the nail marks. “I’m guessing, no one, not even her, would be able to stop you from severely beating, at least, that person once you had half a chance. Now, on top of all this, imagine that this person is someone you knew Liv loved, and they’ve been making her some bit on the side and left her wracked with guilt over something they did, to the point she was self-destructing. All this, and then, there’s a gun aimed at the little sister you love almost more than anything.”

“More,” Aaron corrects. “Not almost. More than my mum, more than you or Robert or anyone or anything else, I love Liv.”

“Well, I love you and Leo equally, but everyone else, you two come ahead. Imagine, though, Liv was a toddler, one with Down’s syndrome, no least, and this fully grown man who pushed a person to their death and had the capability to tie a bleeding person to a radiator and aim a gun at them threatened her. I know he threatened Leo before he did that to you, but I’m sure you can still understand why, whatever you do, I’ll always try my best to keep Robert away him, even if that means I can’t have you around, and be wary whenever they do end up near one another.”

Taking a breath, Aaron rubs his forehead. “Robert’s changed, Paddy. He’s not the same person who did all that.”

“I hope that’s true. I’m here for you, Aaron, but I’m not going to ever stop distrusting and disliking him. I’d really like it if you and I could be close against despite this, but if we can’t, that’s your choice. I’ll still always be here if you need me.”

“Do you think he’ll cheat on me,” Aaron quietly asks.

“I hope he never does.”

“Paddy,” is the tired response.

Shaking his head, Paddy answers, “Much as I want to believe he won’t, and I do genuinely wish I could believe that, the truth is: Yes. I think, eventually, he will. And it seems you’ve been struggling with the same thoughts.”

“I never believed I could love, be in love, until Jackson,” Aaron tells him. “Ed, I used to wish I could have been in love with him, Paddy. But Robert, even with all I went through coming out, I never really understood love not being a choice until him. I know I could have stopped things. Maybe- maybe I should have never let them start. But almost from the very beginning, I could see who he was, the person he never let anyone see, and I loved him. Now, he’s become a better person, different in a way, but I love that person just as much as I did who he used to be.”

“Then, I truly hope, when I’m on my deathbed, I’ll be forced to admit I was wrong about him,” Paddy says. “However, fair or not, until that day comes, I’m never letting go of my suspicions. And even then, just because I’ll admit I was wrong, it doesn’t mean I’m going to go with any warm feelings towards him.”

“Suppose that’s fair,” Aaron mumbles.

“If you think he’s cheating on you right now, just tell me,” Paddy says. “I’ll only get involved as much as you want me to.”

“He’s not.”

“But?”

“But you cheated on Rhona,” Aaron snaps.

“Yes, I did. I’ll regret that for the rest of life, but, and this doesn’t excuse it, she was the first and last person I’ll ever do wrong in such a way. Cheating- a person can make that mistake. I’d say almost anyone could, despite their best intentions. When they do, they eventually have to face the consequences. If they resolve to never do it again and stick to that, I don’t think the label ‘cheater’ should apply for the rest of their life. Some people, however, make it a pattern of behaviour.”

“You used to tell me patterns of behaviour can be broken,” Aaron says.

“They can be. I’m not saying a person with a history of cheating can’t and won’t be faithful. For your sake, I hope Robert breaks the pattern with you. Whether he does or doesn’t, however, I’m never going to be able to get that image of you bleeding and tied to that radiator with a gun pointed at you out of my head. I’m never going to forget he and Katie were once engaged, and yet, intentionally or not, he killed her.”

Aaron nods. “But you don’t believe he’ll break the pattern, either.”

“You know the answer to that, Aaron,” Paddy gently points out. “What matters is whether you do or not.”

“If Robert thought the shove would actually hurt Katie, he never would have. The lodge and all the other things he did, they were wrong, and if he ever does something like them again- but he won’t. He just had a different way of running and hiding, Paddy. I hurt myself when I couldn’t handle who and what I was, when Jackson died, and all the other bad things that happened to me. Robert- he did stupid things because of his dad, too, but when most people in the village stood by me, they all decided the bad things were who he was, and he took that with him when he left. He either hurt others when he felt threatened, or he made everyone see what they wanted to see before they could ever see the real him and form an opinion on that person.”

Paddy waits.

“Liv is acting out,” Aaron says. “And Rebecca is always around. He cheated on Chrissie with her. Then, he cheated on Chrissie with me. He’s never wanted men. Because he can like birds enough to- Do you understand bisexuality?”

“In a way,” Paddy answers. “You, on the other hand, never have seemed to, but it wasn’t my place to try to set you straight. No pun intended, naturally.”

Aaron rolls his eyes.

“Girls when you younger and women now have absolutely never done anything for you. If I were to find myself attracted to some bloke tomorrow, I’d be understandably confused, but the fact I’ve been attracted to and been in love with women wouldn’t be me denying who I was or not knowing what I really wanted in the past. And if I fell in love with this man, the fact I’d been in love with women before wouldn’t make my love for him any less real. With bisexuals, they have just as much chance of falling for this bloke they ran into in the store as they do this girl they met in the park.”

“Robert says that him being bisexual doesn’t mean he’s going to cheat.”

“And that’s one thing I’ll agree with and defend him on,” Paddy says. “Aaron, there are people, gay, straight, and bisexual, who love their partner very deeply, more than anyone else, in some cases, and they find themselves attracted to someone else. They still love their partner, but part of them is tempted by the promise of something else with this other person. This isn’t their fault. What matters is whether they choose to act on this attraction or not. Many people don’t. Having double the amount of people to be attracted to doesn’t increase their chances of choosing to be unfaithful.”

“So, it doesn’t matter to me if Robert is bisexual or gay. What I can’t overlook is the fact, every serious relationship of his I know of has involved him cheating on them.”

Wiping at his eyes, Aaron says, “When Liv first came around, he said he didn’t ‘sign-up’ for all this. He wanted me when he had Chrissie. He wanted Rebecca and Chrissie both and had them both before deciding on Chrissie. Katie was never enough. So, what, I- break my heart instead of letting him? You don’t understand how much I love him, Paddy. This is everything I want. But for him- I don’t know if he even knows what he wants, sometimes.”

“Okay,” Paddy says with a deep breath. Wrapping his arm back around Aaron, he says, “I’m not going to tell you what to do. Aside from the fact you wouldn’t listen, anyways, marriage is such an important step that you have to decide on for yourself. With Liv in your care- for all I sometimes still see you as this boy I want to protect and help, you’ve been an adult for years. Things like this can and should only be decided by you.”

“These are the facts: Robert has hurt you in the past. Cheating has undeniably a pattern of behaviour on his part in the past. Your little sister is acting out, and you might end up having to choose between doing what’s best for her and doing what will make him happy. You loving him doesn’t make any of that less true. Furthermore, you’re sitting here, knowing I won’t give this relationship my blessing, but still wanting something, either for that or for me to tell you to break things off.”

“Whatever the case, if you want my advice, it’s to give the ring back, cut him out of your life, deal with the heartbreak, and eventually, I promise, you will find someone better. Or if you won’t do this, at least, sit him down and have a nice, long talk about all your doubts and insecurities. If he can truly talk them away- but if he can’t, then, you have to make a choice. Are you going to marry this man you can never fully trust? Are you going to risk you and Liv both getting hurt?”

Sighing, Paddy squeezes Aaron’s arm again. “I hope you wouldn’t marry someone you can’t trust, Aaron, but if you do, well, then, I do hope it, somehow, won’t end badly. You know where to find me.”

Reaching up, Aaron squeezes the hand. “Thanks, Paddy. I love you, too, you know. Have ever since I was that messed up seventeen-year-old moppet. And I know, when you cheated on Rhona- but I’ll never stop, Paddy.”

“Good. Do you want to stay for tea?”

“Nah, I’ve got to make sure Liv and Mum don’t kill each other.”

“You and Liv are always welcome.”

When they get to the door, Aaron hesitates. “Robert saved my life, Paddy. In the car, I begged him to save himself, and he refused. When everything was going on with Gordon, I tried to kiss him, and he turned his head. Promised he’d wait for me, and if I still wanted him when it was all over, we’d give each other a proper chance. As far as I know, he weren’t with no one during it all. And during the affair, I meant what I said: He kept me going.”

Paddy nods. “You don’t know how relieved and happy I was that you survived, Aaron. And I’ll acknowledge that he did more for you when it came to Gordon than I ever did. I’m sorry for not being there. I’m glad others, including him, were. But whether you like me saying it or not, bad people can occasionally do something good, and just like a good person doing a bad thing doesn’t change them into a bad person, a bad person doing a good thing doesn’t mean they’ve changed and become better. At most, it’s a start. You and the whole village can forgive him and believe him changed, and so long as he keeps the peace, I will, too. But I meant what I said, the day I join them is the day I’m on my deathbed.”    

Squaring his jaw, Aaron nods. “I love you, Paddy.”

“I love you, too.”

They hug, and Aaron leaves. Digging out his mobile, he brings up the picture of him, Liv, and Robert sitting together on the couch and sighs.


End file.
